yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
worst night to have a conscience
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Randomize
