That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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