tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
