hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
