I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
