lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize