They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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