What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
It's shark week go big or go home
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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