mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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