Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Randomize
