i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize