No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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