This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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