my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
should my penis look like a turkey
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
