Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
