If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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