i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
