doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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