if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
