I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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