I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
