I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
you win again, gameday.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize