Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
