Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Randomize