I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
