$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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