Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
