i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
