69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Randomize
