she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
