Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
