Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize