I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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