why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
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