Already got asked if we're dating
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
