Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
