Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
