Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
