Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Randomize
