How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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