i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
