Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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