Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
