I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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