You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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