he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
