Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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