My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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