i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Randomize
