I like to think it a success when the cops are called
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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