Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
last night I used snow as a chaser
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
