I wish life had little blips of pornography
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
