____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
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