That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
