I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Let's paint friendship bongs
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
