i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
The struggles of a small town man whore
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
