my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize