Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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