There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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