he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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