Whod you bang
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
