Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
wow bdsm is so cute
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
