Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
