I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Randomize