Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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