I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
false alarm. still invincible.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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