If i come over, it means nothing
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Randomize
