I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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