My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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