I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
