Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
